A lot has happened in the last month. I couldn't believe it had been that long since I updated the blog. We have so much crazy it just all runs together.
First things first… their dad is back in jail. I'm not sure if he even lasted a whole week. Supposedly he's in for 12 years. I don't believe their rulings anymore.
Extended unsupervised visits are going extremely well. The kids' mom found a babysitter to watch baby #3 until she's old enough to go to daycare. She found a job!! Very proud of her. Because of her current work schedule we have visitation on Sundays for almost the whole day. She has them for lunch, nap and dinner. Mom has even called me with questions like how I get Little Miss to eat. So much vulnerability in calling and asking me. I just loved it. As far as I can tell or have been told she only needs to find a place to live before they will approve reunification.
After taking the kids for a check-up back in January we found out that they are both tongue tied. Little Miss' is much more severe than Little Man's. They have recommended surgery for her to clip it. Because of her age she will have to go under meaning it goes above our "medical consent". We are currently waiting for all attorneys and judge to sign off on this before moving forward. This might be a little tricky because their attorney ad litem has decided he's not taking anymore cases and no one has taken that place. So we don't know if we'll be waiting on a replacement or if one attorney and the judge will be enough to approve this.
I have established quite the relationship with mom. And I really enjoy this aspect. The Lord has blessed us with a mom who is really trying hard and is easy to talk to. He continually brings up opportunities for me to talk to her about things that have been heavy on my heart but not wanting to sound "holier-than-thou". He is so faithful in the smallest details.
We also found out today that our CPS case worker has been transferred and we'll be getting someone new. I think I shouted "No!!!" when I read it. We have loved her. She loves these kids and wants what's best for them. She loves mom and isn't afraid to give her tough love. She has been so easy to talk to about things. We're going to miss her. And mom and I confessed to each other tonight how nervous we were to meet the new case manager.
I have gotten ok with dropping the kids off for visitation. Today was hard because I had both our boys with me when I did so. Little Miss and Little Man got out of the car and we began to pull away. Both the boys were so sad. I began to talk to them about the goal of reunification. I asked Luke if he had any other questions and he replied, "Yea…I have a few…" And he did. And they were good questions. "I thought their house wasn't safe? Our house is safe and their mommy's house is safe? We can't forget to pack up her pink gorilla! Will we ever see them again?" And on and on.
We went on to Bible Study and I dropped them off in the nursery and headed to my class. I called my mom to give her the latest and I just lost it. I told her about Luke's "few" questions. I told her about the case manager transfer. And I told her that this morning I had tried to get Little Miss to start calling me Katy instead of Mommy. She was confused and said to me, "I not Katy?!" and kept on with the mom.
Because it's not really possible to just rip the bandaid off in this situation I'm trying to sever little things the closer we get. She doesn't know what Mommy means. I couldn't even handle it tonight when Jonathan got out of the car when we picked them up. Little Miss ran to him shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" It breaks my heart because she won't have that when she goes back to mom. She's going to ask her mom where Daddy is and she will be talking about Jonathan. I don't understand many things that go on in this world. And why the Almighty God allows things like kids not having a Daddy in their life. But I will some day. And until I see Him face to face I know I can trust His sovereignty and His faithfulness. He's got the track record to prove it!
So we fall on our faces and we pray for these precious children who didn't get to choose this situation. And we pray for conviction of the Holy Spirit for mom that she will rise up and fear the Lord. And for their dad, that I don't even know if they remember, that he would come to Jesus and act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God.
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