A few weeks ago my Dad facetimed me. This isn't out of the norm really, he's funny that way :) He told me he had been to the dentist twice that week and had found out the his jaw was deteriorating. The dentist diagnosed him but wanted him to see a specialist at MD Anderson because of his history. I am grateful the dentist compared his X-rays from a few weeks ago to 13 months ago. The damage was happening rapidly. My heart sank. I got off the phone and the tears began to well up but I willed them away until we heard from MD Anderson.
They did a CT scan that Friday at MD Anderson. While we were all waiting to hear back about those results we found out they wanted a biopsy and should have those results in 30 minutes. An hour went by...two hours went by...the freak out began..."they had to have seen something on that scan to want a biopsy. We haven't heard back about the biopsy. This is bad. This is going to be bad. It's cancer. And Bekah's wedding is just in a few weeks...."
I got the phone call as we were heading to our Mitchell Thanksgiving. It was cancer (I'm not going to try to type the whole thing) and they caught it early. One side of Dad's sinus cavity had completely been deteriorated. There was also a tumor. It's also in/around his mouth which is why he was having tooth pain and went to the dentist. Now to pull myself together before Jonathan's family Thanksgiving... and oh yeah the kids' court hearing that following Monday.
Here's the thing CANCER SUCKS. Like big time. What I'm noticing this go round (and last time too) is the Lord's graciousness. I know it sounds funny to say God's being gracious when my dad has cancer. The thing is my dad's tooth was hurting so he went to the dentist. That dentist felt the need to compare to past X-rays (huge blessing!) and sent him right away to the best. Dad had no idea he had a big tumor in his sinus cavities! He wasn't having any pain or symptoms from it. Graciousness from a loving and sovereign Father.
Dad went back the Wednesday before Thanksgiving for a MRI and PET scan. It hasn't spread past the spots they knew about. Praise the Lord. And now we'll get Bekah married and surgery is scheduled the week of Christmas. The surgery will be pretty crazy. I'm pretty sure he'll be half robot after it's all said and done.
When I started thinking cancer might be a possibility I asked the Lord a lot of questions. Some obvious ones..."Why is this happening again? Why him?" and some selfish ones..."Do you not remember I have 5 children?!? And I'm planning a wedding that I didn't want extra kids for?? And you remember Christmas is coming??"
I think I'm still in denial really, but thoughts creep up throughout the day and I cry thinking about walking through this again as a family. A few more grandkids this time around. Having to explain it to Luke and Parker. Having to come up with answers for their tough questions.
In all the busyness of being a family of seven and finalizing the last details of Bekah's wedding and the upcoming holiday season...when you get that kind of news...everything stops. And you grieve together as a family because you know from experience it's not going to be easy and you don't want to see your Daddy be in pain. But then you lift your head together as a family to trust the almighty, all-powerful Healer. And you cry out for healing and comfort, but ultimately you trust His perfect will and pray for His hope and glory to be seen and heard.
We don't like this one bit, but there is a peace knowing that our hope is not in doctors and medicine (although we are so grateful for their expertise!). "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:19 The true meaning of this holiday season, Jesus. And I don't say that to be cheesy. But the Gospel man! Jesus came down to die for us and He took the wrath we deserve. Oh how He loves us! So we rejoice no matter what happens because He deserves all the glory. However He chooses to receive it.
